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Is Driving An Electric Car The Same As Faking An Orgasm?

Is Driving An Electric Car The Same As Faking An Orgasm?While electric cars seem to be all the rage by those bent on saving the environment, the true impact appears far different. Driving an electric car seems to have more to do with one feeling good, than anything truly impactful. Which begs the question is driving an electric car any different than faking an orgasm?  

Not really, it is the same thing, just as artificial and a whole lot of pretense.

Electric cars seem to promote a similar ideology of let’s just pretend we are doing something big and wonderful. When faced with the true environmental impact of the electric car, specifically the manufacturing of the battery and constant need to use electricity to charge the car, and complete life cycle, the facts indicate something much different.

Tesla Model SI’m not trying to bash electric cars, I’ve driven a Tesla and find them kinda cool, or I did until they redesigned the front to look like a snow boot. However, I can’t just blindly follow the feel good approach when the numbers don’t add up beyond the smoke and mirrors.

One cannot just ignore the full environmental impact of a car’s life cycle! There’s a whole lot more going on than what puffs out of a tailpipe.

According to a recent study, the car batteries of both a Tesla (large battery) and Nissan Leaf (about one third the size of the large battery) are “eco-villans” even before they leave the factory! Here is a calculation to put this into an understandable perspective:

You would have to run a gas powered car for 8.2 years before it released as much carbon dioxide as manufacturing one Tesla-sized car battery. [1] Hello? Ding, ding, ding, anyone paying attention?

“Unfortunately, when a wire is connected to an electric vehicle at one end and a coal-fired power plant at the other end, the environmental consequences are worse than driving a normal gasoline-powered car,” said Ken Caldeira of the Carnegie Institution for Science  [2

According to Lizze Wade from Wired, “Each stage of an EV’s life has environmental impacts, and while they aren’t as obvious as a tailpipe pumping out fumes, that doesn’t make them any less damaging.” [3]

The point is one needs to look at the entire life cycle, cradle to grave if you will, to evaluate the real environmental impact of an electric car. This is where one gets as duped as being on the receiving end of that fake orgasm, its not as dreamy as you thought it was.

Another recent dupe is when much of the news media incorrectly reported Volvo is going to stop making regular cars and only sell electric cars. Completely false. Volvo’s announcement about electrified cars means their combustion engine will have electric assistance, not eliminate combustion engines altogether. Electrified cars are not electric cars.

Rather than drive an electric car to under a false, though showy, pretense of “saving the environment”, might I suggest the following actions which actually do have a proven impact on helping the environment:

Go green ride a bike1. Ride a bike to work. Not only will riding a bike whittle down that muffin top, getting off one’s ass and riding has a positive environmental impact. No whining about the weather either, people bike in droves throughout Europe even in the snow. (The photo above is Amsterdam in January.) “The U.S. Census estimates that about half of all Americans live within five miles of their workplace. Those who decided to bike those 5 miles every day rather than driving an average car could reduce total household emissions by six percent.” [4] In other words stop talking and start doing.

Eat locally grown produce2. Eat local and cook it yourself. By eating locally food you eliminate the need for massive C02 emissions caused in global food transportation. Take out food containers create tons of garbage, not to mention the negative environmental impact involved in manufacturing plastics, styrofoam, paper, etc. Driving the electric car to procure takeout is beyond nutty.

3. Reduce food waste. Buy what you need and eat what you buy. Did you realize the methane from food rotting in landfills is 25 times a more powerful greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide? By 2009 in the US alone we’ve wasted 50% more food than we did in 1974. As we’ve been getting fatter, so has our carbon footprint which has nothing to do with cars.

4. Only install LED lights outdoors and don’t overdo it. Lighting the landscape of one’s home like a look-a-me Christmas tree is not only wasteful and often ridiculous to look at, this light pollution is detrimental to living organisms and plant life. Living things need their night sky. Plants need it to regenerate and grow. Species need it to find food, shelter and to reproduce. Light pollution harms the environment.

Of the four options, every single one of us can do at least three.

The head in the sand approach doesn’t work. It never has and never will. Ignoring what one doesn’t want to hear or believe doesn’t change reality. Electric cars are really no greener than gas powered cars. If one wants to drive phony feel good ride, fine. But, a fake orgasm will never be a substitute for the real orgasm of true horsepower.

1931 Harry Miller SpecialLet’s not even go there on trying to legislate antique and vintage cars or race cars out of existence.


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